Great Email from Management

June 13, 2008 at 7:51 pm · Filed under general interest, life

TO: All Employees
RE: Swearing at work

It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative “TRY SAYING” phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don’t know what the f___ you’re doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She’s an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She’s a f___ing bit__.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I’m certain that isn’t feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You’ve got to be sh___ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with…
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn’t involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It’s not my f___ing problem.

TRY SAYING: That’s interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I’m not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won’t work.

10) TRY SAYING: I’ll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn’t you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He’s not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He’s got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren’t happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I’m on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don’t think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

 

18) TRY SAYING: He’s somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He’s a pr_ck.

 

 

 

 

Comments (1)

Hazard of Working Too Hard

May 1, 2008 at 6:54 am · Filed under life

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hope I’m not like this kind of co-worker. As they say, value your rest days and maximize the time spent at the office and don’t render overtimes as much as possible.

Hey, It’s Labor Day today here!

Happy Labor Day to the slaves of capitalism and consumerism!

Have a life!

 

Source: a friend emailed it

 

Comments (2)

What (not) to do on your restday

September 30, 2007 at 2:21 am · Filed under general interest

Pondering on what not to do on your restday is quite a feat. In my case, I get to have  not-so-ordinary rest days. Sometimes those could be on weekdays.Here’s my list

1. Check your work email
2. Talk to your coworkers about work
3. Think about work
4. Check out router prices in electronic shops
5. Check out router settings / network setup of the local internet cafe

The trick here is just to avoid anything that reminds you of work…Like the following

• smell the flowers ( if you have a garden or go to a nearby park )
• spend quality time with your family and special someone
• be with your friends ( it’s ok if they’re co-workers as long as they understand your terms )
• read books ( I would suggest Stephen Covey books )
• have a weekend hobby ( cooking, crafts like needlework, gardening)
• do some household chores ( I can’t avoid this. )

These are just some of my ideas. I’m sure you also have your own itinerary on your free day. Just comment if you want to share what you usually do on your rest day

*Sometimes sleeping most of the day is my choice of relaxation. I’ve been doing this for the past month. I might have to take a new hobby to keep my gray matter active. Methinks it’s getting rusty.

Ciao!

Comments